So, I just clicked the wonderful 'next blog' button on this here blog, and something truly frightening appeared. A blog dedicated to women with long nails. That's all. Long nails. LONG NAILS THAT CAN STROKE YOU ALL NIGHT LONG WHILE WHISPERING THE NAMES OF FORMER PRESIDENTS WIVES INTO YOUR EAR. OH YEAH, AND SHE'S STROKING YOUR CAT TOO.

no thanks.

GOOD NIGHT.

30 Rock(s) My Socks

So, is there a show out there right now that is as hilarious as 30 Rock?!

I think not. And there are some funny ones out there. The Office. Modern Family. Cougar Town... oh wait, that show isn't funny at all. Courtney Cox needs to deflate her lips and go back into hiding.

BUT, anyhow... 3o Rock is pure magic. Last night, the show came back after it's winter break. And man, did it come back.

Just admire the picture above. I can't even explain... just know that men carrying Japanese anime body pillows is an actual thing or epidemic (whatever you choose to label it).

Take a lookie here.

And seriously, Tracy Morgan. He could just utter one word and he'd have me dying. Anyways, just watch this show. SO FUNNY. And at this rate with these corporate NBC douchebags, they might just yank it off air. The whole Conan scandal has my heart in a bit of a black hole... VIVA LA CONAN!

An Ode to Harry Connick Jr.

Dear Harry,

I kind of love you. And I honestly have no idea why. In most of the movies I've seen you in, your acting chops are pretty dismal. I don't even listen to your music. I don't even know what kind of music you sing... jazz? Country? Free style hiphop? But I love you. That is all.

Sincerely,

Emma.

P.S. OH WAIT. Maybe this picture has something to do with my obsession.

P.P.S. WHY IS HIS HAIR SO MAGICAL?

P.P.P.S. I'm 19 years old. I'm creeping myself out a wee bit.

P.P.P.P.S. Goodbye.

Bear. Freakin.Grylls.

HEY BLOG.

Dude,

Bear Grylls. Is it just me, or does he take every opportunity to take off his pants? Not that I'm complaining or anything.

I'm currently watching the Texas episode. Teddy Bear (because I'm on that level with him) also has no gripes with picking up anything on the ground AKA a disembodied wolf head. He's like "You know, like, whatevs. I pick these up all the time guys".

I bet he has a collection of wolf heads. Above his mantel. Or on a key chain for his car. Or on a pike outside his abode to warn all wolves to keep out.

I think I could totally live off the land like Bear. My name would deff be Hawk Eye or Beaver Tail. I'd probs take my pants off all the time too. Because that's how me and Bear roll. But of course, I could not survive without my "Bear Trousers":

YEAH. They exisit! And they have built in sun protection! You better believe it!

The Wonderful World of Creepy Online Advertisements! Volume 1

WHAT UP NEW BLOG?!

So, let's start this new blog off right.WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THESE CAR INSURANCE ADS?

Is that you Charles? I don't know about you, but this TOTALLY makes me want to buy insurance. Harold's rich locks and flowing beard are enticing. I just want to stroke... BLERGGGG. I just can't go on.

These ads continually confuse me. Here are a few others that left me going "UHHHH...":

1. "Here's a Weird Old Tip...Wear Some Clothes":

Well, I'm glad blondie decided to wear her red pearls when posing for this ad. It really classes it up.

Here are some of those lovely Facebook ads:

2. "Hugh Hefner Alien/Shifty Eyes/Your Creepy Uncle":

Well, it was his mustache that really drew me in.

3. "Welcome to the Jungle":

I don't care if it's a rip off of Siegfried and Roy... he's wearing a zebra striped shirt! It's bound to be magical!